Follow up on my Slacker blog

I just now re-read my blog about being a slacker and thought I'd give an update. Apparently I am in a much better place than I was. I have officially lost 10lbs so obviously I found a little self-discipline. We had our best month at work in March and I got an awesome bonus so that helped with the working harder and saving money aspect, and I totally finished that book I had started and I LOVED it and I have since read 2 more :) I have a problem with run on sentences. (random I know but I was proof reading) We don't need to discuss the cleaning house thing. I mean it's only been a few months people give me some time :) Oh, and obviously u can see more of what I am talking about with the baby thing if u read that post too. I'm totally lost!

Is anybody NOT pregnant?

Ok, so I realize I am at the age where it is probably time to start a family. We have talked about it quite a bit lately, but are not actively TRYING to have a baby. There are days when I want one sooo bad and then there are days when I question myself and think I'm just not ready. The problem for me is that EVERYONE is pregnant or has just had a baby. ALL of my friends that are my age either just had a baby or are pregnant. Not some.... ALL. I do not have a single friend my age that I still hang out with that does not have a child or is not carrying one. It is almost overwhelming. I know that probably sounds stupid, but I feel like I am in baby overload. Not because I don't LOVE talking with my friends about their babies, but because I kinda feel like I missed the boat and I'm not sure if I wanted to be on it or not? That may not make any sense. It's just the way I feel. And when I say I missed the boat, don't take that literally. I realize I am still very young and have PLENTY of time to get on the boat so to speak. I just feel overly baby consious. Yeah, maybe that is a better way to describe it. Do I want a baby because I'm ready or do I want one because everyone else is having them and I don't want to miss out? I dream about babies and being pregnant. I have all these mixed emotions. Sometimes I am sad that I don't have one too. Other times when I am around screaming babies I think "Thank God that's not me!" I really think a lot of it has to do with my fear of not being able to get pregnant easily. I need to talk to my doctor about some things and I guess the unknown scares me. I think if I knew it would take me 3 years to get pregnant then I would have started trying a few years ago lol. But if it doesnt take me but 3 months then I'm in no hurry to start. LOL Control issues? Yeah I would say so. NOBODY knows how long it will take them, and I know that is all up to God and in his control, and he has a perfect plan for my life. Why do I even bother trying to butt-in or help him out on the planning? He doesn't need my help. I think he's got it covered. He always does.