could I be more indecisive?

Ok so I have been DEAD SET on building my dream house for as long as I can remember. We of course still look at houses for sale, just because it is fun to see what is out there. So, I found this house that I haven't even looked at in person yet, but in my head I am rationalizing why it would be a good idea to buy it. Am I kidding????!!! Just one blog ago I was determined to never settle! I think I get frustrated with the whole process. I am ready to be in a house and move on with my life. I feel stuck. I have had baby fever lately too! (Thanks Cass) It's not just like a "oh, babies are cute-one day I want one" baby fever either. It is a urge. That is the only way I know to describe it. Some days it is stronger than others. Some days I think...Ok Becca, you are so not ready for a baby! My thought process is that if I wait AT LEAST 2 years to build a house, and then we are hugely in debt, AND I'm 27 when we start trying to have a baby which could take a few years who knows! How old am I gonna be when I finally have one? Maybe I should just get in a good home, and instead of building a house, build a family! With little baby Pipers! How cute! I think I am also scared that I may not be able to have children! I know every woman has that fear, but I feel like my fears are somewhat legitimate. What if I wait until I'm 27 they wont even do anything until you have tried for 2 years, then I will be 29 and just starting fertility! OMG!!!! I am soooo overthinking this! I guess I just need to trust that God's perfect will for my life is what will happen no matter when we start trying. If I am meant to build my dream home that is what will happen, and if God wants me to have children (I hope he does) then I will have them. No matter how much you try to plan your life, it never turns out that way! Well, I guess thanks for listening. I just need to vent sometimes. There isn't always a good answer.
On a lighter note, I finally have straight teeth! Yay! I am sooo happy about them.

Work, House, Taxes, Dog, Paint...Not in that order.

I am sitting here at work, trying to find the motivation I need to actually do something.....I think I will blog instead. I am here by myself today. I come in on Tuesdays now just to answer phones, post payments, and get caught up on office stuff. The Doc. is working at another office on Tuesdays. (I may have stated this in a previous blog.) So heres the scoop:


We finally got our taxes done. BOO! We aren't getting near as much back as we have in previous years. Thank you OBAMA! Apparently we got more throughout the year than usual. I didn't seem to notice.

We got the quote on our house. BOO! Looks like we are gonna be saving for a while! I refuse to build a smaller house or with cheaper materials so if I have to save for the next 10 years then by golly that's what I will do. I want my dreamhouse!!!!

My little varmint is at the vet. BOO! She has had tummy trouble all weekend and Josh took her yesterday because she was really bad sick. I've been worried about her, but the vet doesn't tell me much other than she hasn't been sick since she has been there. That is probably because she hasn't eaten since she has been there! Find out what is wrong with my BABY!!!

My boss is great and he has given me two bonuses lately for the work I've been doing, BUT now he keeps telling me...If you can get such and such done by today then there will be a bonus in it for you. Most of you are probably thinking ok....so what is the problem... Well, really it isn't a problem, it just is getting on my nerves a little because it makes me feel like I am getting treats for doing "tricks" Like I give my dogs treats to sit and roll over. He pays me to do a job. Which I do. And I feel like I do a good job. The things he is asking me to do are things I am going to do anyways. I just do them the way I think they should be done. I don't think you should call a patient 3 times in one day because they haven't immediately returned your call. When someone says i will call you back when I know my schedule, I usually like to give them few days before I call back. Not a few hours! I don't like harassing people and he knows this. So to get me to do it anyways he is offering me bonuses. Which are great, but I would prefer to get them for the awesome job I am doing already, not as a bribe to do more!! Am I being stupid? Please tell me the truth.

I am going to share my house pics with you guys. Just don't steal it! lol I told Josh that my main goal in life other than happiness and children was a house. (with a basement of course) And it is! I said, if I die before we build a house I want him to mix my ashes in the concrete we will use to pour the basement, otherwise I may be caught between earth and heaven because I have unfinished business! I was kidding of course about being stuck between life and the afterlife, but I am pretty sure I am serious about the whole concrete thing. LOL Anyways, here it is:

This is a pic of one someone else build with that plan.

Mine of course will be decorated differently, but you get the idea...

Speaking of decorating, I painted my kitchen because I got tired of trailer wall paper. I just finished it last night. Ummm now I'm thinking I should have left it alone. Ha Ha. Josh won't let me buy more paint so it looks like I'm stuck with baby vomit green. It is really dark and really bad! I will post pics later. Check back for a good laugh! Did I mention that when I tried to peel off the painters tape the paint peeled off with it! BAHAHAHA. I should probably care,....but I don't. I haven't finished peeling off the tape. I decided it was obviously a bad idea.

whats been happening

So, some things that have been going on lately:

Josh and I took our house plan to our builder to get an estimate! Yay me!!...uh I mean us... We still won't be building for about two more years but we are making progress!

I totally sucked at couch to 10k. I have been jogging at the gym, but I'm not so great at sticking to the plan.

I read this book called The Shack. I don't know if any of you have heard of it, but it is a fictional book, with a spiritual message. It is about a man whose young daughter is abducted. It confronts a lot of the questions that I think most people have asked, even if they don't want to admit it. Such as: How could God who loves us so much allow such horrible unspeakable things to happen to innocent children? I know I myself have questioned this. I really learned a lot from this book. Please keep in mind it is fiction, and form your own opinions. I think that many parts in the book are not meant to be taken in a literal sense. I personally just gained a new perspective and a better understanding of God's love.

We still have not gotten our taxes done! I keep trying to get Josh to go, but he is in no hurry. I am hoping we get a decent amount back, but I'm nervous that we won't because I didn't get cut as much as I usually do. ugh.

I got an ipod today! I know I'm a little behind, but it was just never at the top of my list. I am pretty excited about it though.

That is all for now!

Random stuff

So last night me and a couple of friends of mine went to see Dear John. Once the movie started, I realized that I had already read the book. Why did I not know this before? I guess I forgot. Anyways, it was really good, and the ending in the movie is a little better than the book.

I am stalling because I don't really want to go to the gym. I am blogging in my workout clothes. Lazy! I skipped yesterday, so I have to go today.

I have decided I want to be a runner. Not like a marathon runner, I just want to be able to run without passing out, and possible actually enjoy it. It would be a great way to get in shape. I have always hated running. I have been trying to jog at the gym, and each time I go I add a few more minutes. I was discussing this with one of my patients at work because he had recently started running, and he told me about this couch to 10K that he had done to help him set goals. It tells you exactly what to do each week to eventually work your way up to a 10K. Now obviously I won't be doing quite that much but I thought it would be a good way to get the results I wanted. We will see how this goes!

So one of my new favorite things is this lash primer I got from clinique the other day. I don't know if it really makes a huge difference or not, but my mascara definitely goes on much easier after I put the primer on, and it doesn't seem to take as long to make them look good. Maybe it is all in my head, but I like it.

I guess I should get off my butt and get to the gym. I'm not burning many calories this way!

New Year, New Post

Well, I guess it is about time that I post again. Things are going good right now. I hope they stay that way. I have learned my new responsibilities at work, and I am doing quite well at it. The extra money is a huge help! Things are a lot slower this month at work, but it is ok for now.

I guess now that Josh got his present I can tell what it is. I got him a 50 in plasma with surround sound and a new entertainment center. It is pretty sweet! The crappy part is that stupid BestBuy sent me a bill less than 2 weeks after I bought it which happened to be the day before Josh opened it, and he is the one who checked the mail that day. Totally ruined the surprise! Oh well :(

Josh will be starting nights again next week. I hate it sooooo bad!! This time it will probably be for the whole year. Who knows when he will have the opportunity to get on days again. It may be years!

I have to say that things are really good with us right now. I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH! I feel like I love him more than I did when we got married! (which was alot) No matter how bad my day is, the second I see him come in the door I am happy. I can't wait to get home to our little family. My sweet husband, and my two sweet puppies! It makes me soo happy to think of them that my heart could just explode. I know I am being super mushy, but I may need to remember this in a few weeks when I am ready to choke them again! lol

I don't think that I have mentioned that my hubby looks like some homeless mountain man. He has some stupid bet going with his friends that he won't shave until the end of deer season. This has been going for over a month!!! It is way out of control. Even he is embarassed in public. lol Oh well! I love him anyways!

I don't really have any resolutions for the year. When Josh goes back to nights I plan on going back to the gym, but I wouldn't say it's a resolution, because if he stayed on days I wouldn't even bother trying to go back. I also hope to save lots of money this year to go toward our house, but I have been saying that for a while! We will see how that goes.

I guess that is an update on my life for now!

What's new.

Well this has to be short. I have no time for this at work anymore! Things at work are keeping me busy. That is good. It makes the day go faster. I am going a little crazy, but I really like the extra money! I can't wait until Christmas! Josh is getting an awesome gift and I can't wait for him to open it! Yay! I would say what it is, but he might decide for the first time ever to read my blog! We just put laminate hardwood floors in our bedroom. We were moving the furniture back in there at midnight last night! It looks soooo good though! I'm very happy, but my house is a disaster zone! Maybe I can squeeze in this story about Maynard:

Last night I bathed him and washed his big bed and brought him in for the night. I put him in the laundry room, where he is usually just content to be inside. This time was different. He just would not stop whining! He whined from the second I put him in there. He does not usually do that. He is so happy go lucky, and he is just the best dog. Finally I thought...well, maybe he just needs to potty. I let him out the back door, and he took off running!! As soon as he got out in the middle of the yard, there are no words to describe the sound that followed, other than...SHART. He sharted all over the yard! lol I couldn't help but laugh. He had gotten into the scraps and I had thrown out a huge piece of ham from a christmas party, and apparently it got the best of him. He is such a good dog! I felt horrible. He just held it until I let him outside. He was perfectly happy to be in the laundry room after that. I loved on him alot because I felt so bad. Bless his little heart.

I guess that is all for now!

Being the office manager....sort of.

Today is my first day without Laura. I feel sooooo lost. I can't remember some of the things that I am sure she showed me. I guess that is to be expected. Thankfully we are slow today. Not too many phone calls and not too many patients either. I dread tomorrow. We are pretty booked. Oh well. I can do this. Just two more days and then it's the weekend. That makes it sound like it's nothing. Anyways. That is pretty much it. I got my car back!!!! Did I say that already? I don't think I did. Man I love my car!!!! I talk to it daily now. I have been a terrible mother to it, but I am determined to do better! lol I guess I will update again later!